I finally saved up $122 to order a sewing machine. This is a much needed, practical replacement, and I feel no guilt about spending money on this necessary tool. I hope everything's in working order when it arrives next week. It has some features that are going to be pure luxury! Drop in top loading bobbin! One step buttonholing! Stretch stitches! I am sooooo looking forward to tackling my list of sewing projects.
It's going to cost $211+parts tax to get the hand-me-down clarinet Beth gave me for my birthday refurbished. That's the next indulgence I'm saving for. Hopefully, this summer!
Before I start this story, let me begin by assuring y'all that NOTHING HAPPENED. This did not become a dire situation. It didn't become a situation at all, thank God! This is a nothing story. But, as a testimony to how problematic my country is right now, a peculiar set of circumstances presented themselves while I was at work on Wednesday. And, I had to rapidly think through things and make decisions that I couldn't have imagined being part of my reality not so long ago. There were two slimy men in the store wearing embroidered shirts showing symbols and words that indicated their political positions in no uncertain terms. Indications were they were alt-right assholes. I had a Muslim customer and her adorable little girl. The customer was covered almost as much as by a niqab except her whole face showed instead of just her eyes. She was far more covered than just being in hijab. (I think it's called a jilbab? Maybe?) The two men were finishing up and leaving just as she was coming to check out. At the end of her transaction, I offered to walk out into the parking lot with her (like we always do at my store), but she declined. It raced through my head that those men had stared at her and could still be in the parking lot as she headed out with her little girl. I didn't want them to talk shit and frighten her little girl or worse. But, of course, I wasn't going to say the words out loud, "Hey, no, let me walk out with you, please, because 2 hatemongering creeps just spotted you." That would've been incredibly uncalled for. Besides, I was 99.999999% certain nothing was gonna happen. But, that remaining minuscule possibility tugged at my conscience. She and her daughter walked over to the Redbox to get a movie which I thought was a convenient delay giving the men more time to drive away outside. LoudOne had walked up and was standing by the door watching the front end. I stood still for a couple of heartbeats and asked myself, "Why do I feel this way? I have goosebumps. My conscience is nagging at me. This is an instincts thing. OK, God, I get it. You just tapped me on the shoulder and put me in the game, eh? OK. So, how do I see to this weirdness discretely? Hmmmm...." I wasn't really worried. I was just......... twitchy. (It felt like when that man with Third Reich and white supremacist tattoos on his legs was in the McDonalds the other day, and one of the women I know who works there and I closed ranks around a young, petite black teen girl employee who was taking his tray to him in the dining area. We intercepted her, steered her to be behind us, handed off the tray to another woman employee to take to the table, and stood between the tiny black young lady and the piece of shit Nazi wannabe.) Anyway, I walked up quite close to LoudOne and went sotto voce, "I need you to help me help someone, please." She said, "OK, what?" I asked her if she'd seen the men. She hadn't. I told her about them. I nodded toward my customer and her child. I said, "Do me a favor, please? When they start to leave, I'm stepping away from the registers to go outside to get carts. I want to have eyes on them in case those men haven't left the parking lot." LoudOne's eyes bugged out, and she was all, "Well, YEAH. YES." I told her that I was almost completely certain nothing was going to happen, that this wasn't at all a thing. But, at the same time, I had goosebumps on my arms and felt a moral obligation to not turn a blind eye. She totally got that and fully agreed. I hovered up front, bagged 2 small transactions, and kept glancing around for a couple of minutes. When it looked like the woman had finished swiping her card and the little girl was waiting for the Redbox to spit out the DVD, I walked past LoudOne and said, "Hey, I'm going to get carts," and winked. She called back, "OK!" I headed outside and did a quick visual sweep of the parking lot (all these many years later, I still have 2 things firmly ingrained in me - 1. Assess the scene. 2. I put my gloves on as I approach the scene. lol No gloves in today's equation, but I was all kinds of observe-y. I should probably email Joe and tell him he and the guys did a damn good job of training me. lol). I didn't see the men. I walked about halfway out into the parking lot and set to gathering buggies as my cover. The woman and her daughter came out, and I watched them go their vehicle and start loading in bags. I gathered the buggies while discretely keeping watch over them until they drove away. And, I was so glad nothing had happened, especially after 2 women customers got into a loud, screaming fight behind my kiosk last night (and the things they were yelling at each other were racial in nature). Drama-free shifts, please! Please?! When I got back inside, I thought, "What would I have done if something had happened?" I decided I would've called 911, gotten quick phone video as I ran toward them so the men could be identified, and grabbed up the small child and wrapped myself around her and sheltered her while screaming my head off for more help to come. Worst case scenario, I'd've sent the child running inside and then jumped in full teeth and claws. I'm fine with dying an honorable death. I am disgusted that the United States has deteriorated to the point that I even have call to think about protecting a Muslim woman customer. But, look at the security concerns synagogues are dealing with right now. Even here, my little temple has a cop on site during High Holy Days. Look at how many patrols the sheriff's deputies make each night around the mosque out in Kinsey. Look at the litany of hate crime news stories week after week. Even Amy's husband is talking about maybe they should close down their local businesses and leave because he's worried about her safety at the shop (she's a hijabi). I am ashamed of my country.
Oh, speaking of Art After Hours! A really amazing thing happened last year at the museum. I got to meet Bill Steber while he was in town!!! He is so cool! I LOVE his work! He is taking the photos I wish I could but will never achieve in 1,000 years. We talked about photography and Delta blues. (I used to live on Highway 61.) And, he and I see with our cameras in remarkably similar ways. He even hugged me goodbye! He gave me his business card and told me to stay in touch. He said he's interested in my photography. I still have his card in my wallet, but I haven't acted on it, yet. I don't know if I will. I'm tempted. I really am.
Bill Steber and me, 2016
Yup, I just checked. His card is still tucked into a pocket in my wallet. It's an odd little jumble of people I have collected in that pile. The clarinet repairman, an FBI agent, Isti's card from Temple Israel back in Memphis, Bill Steber, my local tattoo artist, AirEvac (rural medevac helicopter staff) from back in Arkansas, the local hospice social worker from when my dad died. So many stories. I threw out the cards from my Chicago people last fall because I didn't want to feel those feelings every time I opened that part of my wallet.
Well, I guess I'll end this nonsense rambling and try to at least get a bit of a nap before sunrise. Here. I'll close with music. Grab your earbuds/headphones. Turn the volume up as high as you can comfortably stand. All the better if you're in a dark room in the nighttime, but, at the least, close your eyes and cover them with your hands to block out visual stimuli. Now, go into these songs. Immerse. Some songs are just better in the darkness.
And, of course, some photographs.
No comments:
Post a Comment